Imagine for a moment that you're a sculptor or other practitioner of the Plastic Arts. You struggle to sell your creations, while trying to hold down a boring tedious job in order to pay the rent, feed the kids, or whatever. One day, out of the blue, you get a call from the Milton Keynes Developmnet Agency.
"Who?" you wittily respond.
MKDC: We are creating a New City, built with people, not planners, in mind.
You: Oh.
MKDC: Yes, and we thought that what a really people-friendly New City needs is Public Art, and plenty of it.
You: Er, yes ...
MKDC: And we got your name from a mutual friend, who said you're very good at that kind of thing.
You: Oh, er, jolly good!
MKDC: So how'd you feel about, oh, say, some life-size model animals, since we'll be building largely in the countryside? You know, make it look less ... urban, more sort of ... rural. Of course, we'd pay the going rate. And it would be in all the papers!

And so the first piece of Public Art in MK is conceived; and what happens? People take the piss out of your babies, non-stop, for twenty-five years, that's what! I ask you, is this fair? is this any way to treat a sensitive, hard-working creative young woman (I think), who is trying to make the world a Better Place To Live In and keep body and soul together at the same time?

Come to Milton Keynes;see the bloody concrete cows; then ask yourself what facetiousness achieves and creativity doesn't!

Steve (going for a lie-down now)