Dear Ms Fox,

The flying monkeys (borrowed from a friend who suffered a meltdown) failed in their duty. Miserably failed. I found them playing with your gifts. They have been suitably chastised, bad performance appraisals have been written, and they will not receive good letters of recommendation.

First the elves, and now this!

No matter, my dear. Your gifts have been dispatched via a much more reliable carrier.

Sincerely and apologetically yours,

X

St. Nicholas (his mark)