THIS JUST IN...Canadian Folksinger to perform mitral valve repair surgery in Ohio. It was announced early this morning that Rick Fielding, a folk singer from Toronto, is preparing to tackle the daunting job of repairing the mitral valve of a US citizen, Pat "Catspaw" Patterson. When we spoke to him, Fielding said "Well, if I can figure dry wall out, this oughtta be a cinch. Spaw's a pal, and I want to help." Mr Patterson was unavailable for comment after hearing the news, although he only took out a small table lamp when he went down, and should be regaining conciousness at any moment.

Spaw, we love you.