The Haggis Song

Away up in the highlands, there is a Haggis farm
There's great big hairy gillies to keep them all from harm
They stand on guard from morn till night, then from night till morn
They tuck them in their little beds to keep their whiskers warm

(Chorus)   
Oh, how many legs has a Haggis, and how high can it fly
Has it got wings and such like things to shove it through the sky?
I dearly love to see it, its such a bonny sight
Countin' the legs on a Haggis on a braw bricht moon-licht nicht

Now Sassenachs are surely a disbelieving crowd
They won't believe a Haggis is a thing of which we're proud
We've told them fairy tales, but the one that is absurd
Is the way we try to kid them on, a Haggis is a bird.

(Chorus)

We had a Burns Supper, the speaker was in place
The great man rose to give forth about the Pudden Race
He spoke those well known words and drew his dagger from its pouch
He shoved it in up to the hilt, and the Haggis shouted 'ouch'

(Chorus)

They sent for Doctor Findlay to see if he could help
It's only when it's wounded that a Haggis gives a yelp
An operation then took place, the patient's doing fine
They sewed it up and then it sang a verse of 'Auld Lang Syne'

(Chorus)

[Halswell Scouts Songbook]
http://www.halswellscouts.co.nz/downloads/camp1.pdf