Although I was good, lahving father and husband, and dewoted Chreestian, I now realize I was lousy Tsar, and thees lead directly to Rewolution. I wish I had Mudket back then. I lirn so mahch from Mudket! Eef I had only known theese theengs back then, pairhaps I could have beeen bettar Tsar, and obwiated bloody Soviet Rewolution.

Nicholas II, Tsar of all the Russias, Emperor of Moscow, Siberia, and the Kazakh Steppes, etc., etc., etc.