Oh my......Your Most Imperial Goodness Graciousness......words fail me!

I shall, of course, do my utmost to instill those words into each and every oh-so-lucky miscreant who has the amazing good fortune to fall into my hands. It will, of course, be accompanied by a band of assorted banjos because nothing else could possibly do justice to such magnificent sentiments.

I am also thinking of kazoo accompaniment to drown out any screams which may escape the lips of said tortured souls.