Drunker'n' Davies sow.
You mess with me, I'll rip yore head off and spit down yore neck.
What in tarnation are you doin', Sam?
Pretty as a spotted heifer.
He's no-count,lazy, and crooked as a dogs hind leg. And thems his good points!
He's so sorry he wouldn't piss on his shoes if they was on fire.
Sorry is as sorry does
Grinnin' like a possum in a hen house

troll