Consider yourself appointed, PFR, on condition that I get to review all your photo dossiers. On the motorway services point, austerity dictates that there will be none south of Sandbach, and even that was marginal. Soft Tory southerners will have to buy those in-car plastic pee accessories with the female adapters that I've seen in the Daily Star. I have determined also that every club in the Premier League has been guilty of unfair play this season, except for Liverpool, and will each be deducted fifteen points, except for Man U, twenty-five in their case. OK, the Man U bit is a blatant piece of populism, but I foresee no objections except from MikeL2 but I can run faster than him.

I'm still working on my religion policies. Be afraid. Be very afraid...

The Yorkshire Question is on hold. For now.