In America, cupcakes are small, sweet cakes that you cook in a cupcake pan lined with cupcake papers. You frost them. Cupcakes might be served at a birthday party.

There has been a big resurgence of cupcake consumption among people in their 20's and 30's lately. I suspect it is due to a lack of playful, affectionate mothering in childhood. ("Eat that Special K while I take a shower. I have to get to work!")

Muffins are cooked in the same kind of pan, but they are less sweet and often contain nuts or berries. They are often eaten for breakfast. They are delicious hot and buttered.

The flat, sour, holey thing you call a crumpet is called an English muffin in America. Never muffin, always English muffin. It, too, is usually breakfast food.

Me, I make cracked-wheat bread in the bread machine, then I toast it and dot walnut oil on it.