*laughing like crazy, you guys is a hoot*

THE TEXAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE

*Don't squat with yer spurs on
*Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of THAT comes from bad judgement
*Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in
*If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every once in a while to make sure it's still there
*If you think you're hot shit, try ordering someone else's dog around
*After eating the entire bull, the mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...moral: When you're full of bull, keep your moutn shut
*Never kick a cowchip on a hot day
*There's two theories to arguin' with a woman and neither of 'em works
*If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is quit diggin'
*Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco
*It don't take no genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep
*Always drink upstream from the herd
*When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or person, don't be suprised if they learn their lesson
*When you are throwin' your weight around, be prepared for someone to throw it around for you
*Never miss a good chance to shut up

*There are 3 kinds of men--The ones that learns by reading, the few who learns by observation, and the rest of 'em just have to urinate on the electric fence for themselves..