I can cope with bingo and other arse. Sounds just up my street. Can the broad church bit encompass bingo halls named Mecca? Or is that a click-ety click too far? Or is it Broadchuch with that Scot's bloke, who pretends to be English, pretending to be a policeman instead of a doctor? Miserable TV show that was...

Still, thanks for the offer but I now seem to be in some sort of exile where we have to sing the national anthem of 'On Ilkla' moor bah't 'at' and toast King Seen Been (or is it Shorn Born?) with pints of Taylor's Landlord every morning.

Will I still be able to get a work permit or are you now going to pander to popular opinion by closing borders, insisting we learn to speak Cornish and banning ownership of them little yappy Yorkshire terrorists?