Darcy lever? Is that that ballet dancing bird on 'Strictly'? Or is mentioning strictly getting too close to whips and Anne Summers again? Bloomin' complicated this diplomacy malarkey init?

My Grandad used to tell me he used to tell me the inmates at Prestwich were not as daft as people thought. He once watched a couple of blokes, one pushing an upside-down wheelbarrow and the other pulling a piece of string. When he asked the first one why his barrow was upside down he was told that if it was the right way round, people would put things in it. On enquiring why the second was pulling the string, the chap pulling it just asked Grandad if he had ever tried pushing one.

Anyway, 22 and 88 were not on the photocopied bingo card Musket gave me so I never saw the need to find my balls...