"In my confirmation classes, (I was ten) we were told never to eat for 3 hours before Communion."

Well, when I were a little lad it was from the previous midnight. I seem to remember that it had gone down to an hour before I ceased to partake. Of course, when I point out that Limbo has suddenly gone, that on certain days only I was able to spring people of my choice out of Purgatory by going into a church and saying three Hail Marys, that all of a sudden it became all right to eat meat on Fridays, that grown men in the Vatican (who have spent even longer in seminaries than Joe) sit around agonising as to whether people telling packs of lies about virginal apparitions should be officially believed, that no one-legged man has ever returned from Lourdes with two legs, that official cheating took place in order to get Mother Teresa her two miracles, that a second-century polemicist suppressed and even burned some gospels that didn't fit his vision for future Christianity, that we were told at school that heaven had only Catholics in it, that not a single scrap of evidence for the existence of God has ever come to light, how the Romans, oddly, never recorded anything of significance about Jesus, that Moses was a murderous thug, that it IS my business when the schools I pay my taxes to fund are allowed to tell children a pack of lies and make them bow their heads, I'm told by Joe that I'm indulging in a pernicious logical fallacy. The fact is, I'm actually stating facts. Shamelessly selected facts, naturally (only taking a leaf out of religion's books in that regard, folks), but my, how they stack up, and there are plenty more where they came from!


"I'm sorry to say, he loves bacon"

Yikes, two phrases that clearly don't belong in the same sentence!   ;-)