Punkfolkrocker, as I understand it, when one dies, one doesn't whizz up to heaven and start living a life of Riley. Apparently, one stays asleep, in an intermediate state. Only when Christ comes again will all the dead rise up and start to live. Loads of folk aren't aware of this doctrine, and imagine one is reunited immediately with loved ones etc. So all those sad little bunches of flowers and cards saying 'She is now an angel in heaven' or 'Reunited with Fred' and so on are, theologically speaking, far off the mark. I'll have a long wait for my endless supplies of crumpets and ale, and my husband won't get his hands on the 57 virgins quite as fast as he thinks!

I do hope God/Jesus will know what to do with all the small heaps of cremated ashes scattered about numerous Gardens of Remembrance. I shan't want to be resurrected as a rather fetching pile of dust...