I agree, We are complex critters and all sorts of things add up to make us who we are. It does take effort - and sometimes pain - to reflect on how we got to here, but as Socrates said "The unconsidered life is not worth living". And yes, in some cases shouting about something can be because that we have formed a settled opinion about it after a long struggle and we don't want that wound opened again. Though silence can be driven by exactly the same reluctance to revisit things that we would rather not think about.

As a personal example, more than forty years ago I was asked to warn a university friend that a third party was not to be trusted and I didn't do so, essentially because I thought it would break our friendship. As a result when some years later my friend got badly treated by them, I have always felt I've had an some indirect responsibility for it. Last year while speaking to my friend we discussed it for the first time. The feeling is still there, of course, but is healed a little by my friend's understanding, and I think we each have a more mature view of what actually happened.