Believe me, Steve, no-one's going to want to hear me sing it - or anything else for that matter.

I'm OK at writing fairly straightforward lyrics like these, but I don't play any musical instrument and I can't sing to save my life. If any Mudcatters would care to perform the song, though, they're very welcome to do so.

The model I had in mind as I wrote the verses was Frankie & Johnny, which has that same relentless three-beat rhythm. Now I've got The Sexual Life of a Camel running throughly my head instead.