The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #159633   Message #3785367
Posted By: keberoxu
14-Apr-16 - 07:49 PM
Thread Name: BS: Triage, or 'where am I'
Subject: RE: BS: Triage, or 'where am I'
My first post mentioned Wysiwyg and a post of theirs from a thread sometime back. My conscience is nagging me to quote that post on this thread, so anyone can see why I put the word "triage" in the thread title.   The date was 4 Oct 2008.

[quote]
The secret of surviving in the ministry -- to always keep yourself healthy enough to remain a step ahead of the crowd so you can help them when they need it...because one of our favorite sayings is, "They know who to call." But another one is, "They prefer the hope to the reality." Eventually, as we get older, if we survive, we learn to take both the hope AND the reality.

A case in point. I have twice now offered some seriously-reality-based thoughts to an individual I am thinking of today, who prefers not to listen at the moment. That tells me that this individual is not yet at the place where their own "smarts" have gotten them into enough trouble that they can tell the difference between their hopes and a real, solid upward path. And that's fine -- because the day that person realizes that they need to listen up, they will recall what I said and/or my phone will ring. Till then I have my hands full of the last one who needed to call. And so it goes, around and around. (And of course sometimes I'm the one calling others when my "smarts" wear thin.)

Several times a year I get e-mails, calls, or in-person indications that whatever I said years ago finally kicked in, and usually an apology for not listening. The acknowledgement is nice because it updates me on what their next level of of help/need may be, but the apologetic mindset helps them, not me; after I hear them process their thoughts about this, I just tell them to pay out that line, that kind of slack, to someone else when they get the chance. My mom taught me this pattern: we laugh and laugh when I call to tell her what lesson from her parenting kicked in "yesterday."

Community. It has its own triage built in, because not everybody can listen and accept at the same time. Good thing, too, or we'd all be overwhelmed and panicked at the same time!
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