I once dedicated one of my monthly Folk Review columns to the howlers I had found in pupils' work, Eliza. A fairly common one was the shipwrecked passengers "raped in blankets by the crew". Also, one busy ship's captain who "spent the whole night on the bride until relieved by the mate". Then, after the triumphant 1966 World Cup, an essay on Bobby Charlton, who had a brother Jackie "who also played in the WC". And perhaps a hint for cosmetic manufacturers in a story from a female pupil about a girl who was universally popular "because she was so well-manured".

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