I'd give up if I were you, Steve. If you tell a lie enough times some people will believe it. You and I and many others know the truth and all that matters is that you know really.

I can't recall how often I have used this quote. Just once for ake, twice for someone else and the rest for Keith. Are you sure your in-laws speak the same language? :-D

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone. "It means just what I choose it to mean - neither more or less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."
   
Lewis Carroll