The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3789830
Posted By: Amos
11-May-16 - 04:46 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
I'd sooner bathe in a Syrian sewerline, I think. At least no one would be pretending it was champagne.

Fast and bulbous was the night
And dim and fleeting was the light,
The night O'Leary flipped his top
And drove through Texas, would not stop

For flashing lights or boring signs
Pursued by devils in his mind.!
Through Dallas, Arlington he ran
Down into Austin, where the Man

Pursued him with a fleet of cars
Past houses, coffee shops and bars.
Into the long dark Texas night
He madly drove, intent on flight.

He headed south at awful speed
Pursued by lawmen for his deeds.
He sped straight down to San Antone
Ignoring wind and siren moan,

And flashing lights on cars official!
His state of mind was something special.
His speedo smoked! His tires whined!
He half-erased the yellow line!

Ignoring law, and sense of right
He crossed the long, dark, Texas night.
Toward Corpus Christi then he fled
His brain aflame, his eyeballs red,

Then, bearing right as he ate up ground,
He set his sights on Brownsville town.
But as he rolled through Brownsville, he
Perceived the wide and lapping sea,

And hurtled leftward with a smile
Aiming toward South Padre Isle.
The evening sky was all aglow,
His tires smoked, his fuel was low,

His hair blew madly 'round his head
When he finally saw the beach ahead.
He was doing ninety in a fifty zone!
He knew that he was not alone!

Behind him shimmering in the air
Were city cops, and ten state bears,
Their sirens screaming in pursuit
To give O'Leary's ass the boot!

The smell of ozone, tide and damp
Came through the windows, and the lamp
Blinking and calling through the night
Beckoned from Padre Island light.

The time was short, the bears were near,
When quickly up the berm he steered,
INto the air, past factories facing
Onto the old Goose Island Basin

And knowing then he'd done enough
Gave himself over to the Gulf.
Gave up control of his wild Camaro,
And yielded him up to death and sorrow.

Now, shells, and cold dark waters weary
Mark the remains of poor O'Leary.
His fancy car subsides to rust
His dreams now gone, his bones now dust.

He leaves a heart-broke Mom and Pappy;
But at least he made the fishes happy!