Eftifinos link

If you belong to london town
and read the daily press
You'll be convinced by this time there's nae monster in Loch Ness

The cockneys laugh and say cor it dont arf make yer think
these great big hairy highland men get far to much to drink

CHORUS
There is a monster in loch ness the fact ye canny hide
she's got mair curves than a movie star and a wiggle three miles wide, and a wiggle three miles wide.

but one wee wily sachennach believed the thing was true
and he knew if he could prove it he could make a bob or two
so he travelled to the country where the beer and the whisky flows
and the wee wild haggis dances while the bonny bagpipe blows.

he met a man in tartan trews and said pray tell me sir
have you ever met this thingumyjig that's causing all the stir
a thingumyjig he answered I think ive hear enough
Our nessies Scotland's pin up and a gran wee bit of stuff.

Chorus

at last he met the beastie that he had come to see
she said yer welcome laddie wid ye like tae stay fur tea
I rarely dine with monsters but I don't mind if I do
Pray what is on the menu and Nessie answered ...........................you

chorus

the yanks arrived from Hollywood tae make the beast a star
and they offered her a contract and a monster Yankee car
but the lights and noise and cameras made poor auld Nessie groan
awa and boil yer can she cried I want tae be alone

chorus