The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3795552
Posted By: Rapparee
14-Jun-16 - 09:37 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Veronica sobered, the drunk she was with still pawing her. "Aunt Penelope!" she exclaimed.

"WHAT are you doing, child? Look at you!" shouted Penelope, losing her temper. "I thought you came over here for a job caring for children!"

"So?" Veronica shrugged. "The more sucker you." She batted the drunk's hands away from her crotch and continued, "You have always run my life! You sent me to the best schools, give me a generous allowance, bought me a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, whatever I asked! BITCH!" The last word was stabbed out with a particular venom.

She ranted on: "You and Uncle Winston! That perverted little bastard always sniffing around me like a horny dog, wanting to dress me, wanting me to put a diaper on him and push hem around in that oversized pram he keeps in the old stable, and then change his frigging (this isn't the exact word she used) diaper! And you married him and he's still sucking on your teats for money and everything!"

"Winston's dead," said Peneloped, quietly.

"What?" blinked Veronica in a lower tone.

"Shu gonnafax er do I tel Shlim shu shtiffed me?" muttered the drunk. "C'mon yu kin tak widdat bitsh later."

Veronica turned and kneed him in the groin with such force he was lifted an inch or more off the ground. He fell, unconscious.

"What happened to Winston, your lovey-dovey Winston?" asked Veronica bitterly.

"An accident with Uncle Simon's double rifle in the gun room," stated Penelope with a knowing wink at Veronica. "And I was long aware of his...indiscretions...but did not know of him 'sniffing around' you. I assume it was when I was away in London or somewhere on the business of the family. I most humbly apologise, dear."

Two large men appeared in the doorway, obviously bouncers, who asked, "Waddhell's goin' on out here?" The Beretta, this time equipped with a silencer, "fwipped" twice and both were dead before they knew it. The gun disappeared again.

"Aunt Penelope! You shot them! Slim Thing is going to be very, very angry!"

Penelope gazed at her niece. "Veronica, do you want to stay here or go home to Blighty? If you stay, I shall stop your allowance and disown you. Come back and you can start over. I shall see you get the best anger management treatment, medical treatment, and then you can decide what you want to do with your life."

Veronica stood, indecisive. Chongx said, "You better hurry up and decide, cuz in a minute or two there are gonna be enough goons out here to make up an army."

Veronica turned and saw her reflection in the mirror of a car. She gasped and said quietly, "Let's go."

(TBC)