Am I allowed to be flippant for just a sec? Your mention of Morris Marinas reminded me of a day in around 1980 when my next-door neighbour in Loughton, where we lived at the time (he was called Keith, as it happens), had proudly taken delivery of his brand-new firm's car, a Morris Marina. As we stood there billing and cooing over the shiny beast that had just 25 miles on the clock, my cursory inspection revealed rust in most of the seams. I didn't have the heart to deflate him, though over the next two years I watched that car turn into a rusty bucket. He didn't keep it for long!

Anyone remember Maggie Thatcher doing the Great British big sell for the then brand-new Austin Maestro? I think the newsclip had her getting into one outside Number Ten. I had one of those for eighteen miserable months. It was the worst car to drive in Christendom (I could write a book), and, no matter how carefully you drove the bugger, 26 to the gallon was as good as it got. Amazing when you consider how light it was, what with all that rust dropping off it!

Back to grimness now, chaps...