Right, the book's just arrived!!
And here are the song lyrics requested by ZZ Chopin:-

"Syncopated Lady"

I know a gal...
I'm crazy for...
(piano arpeggio)
She hangs around...
My old back door...
(piano again)
She never will...
Belong to me...
'Cos she's too sophisticated
And syncopated...
You...
See...
1) She's a syncopated lady
And she lingers where it's shady
And I listen to her daily
As she plucks her ukulele
And her eyes are kinda flashy
And her clothes are kinda trashy
And she smokes them small havanas
And she chews them big bananas -
Teeth like pearls and lips like wine
Thump thumpy thumpy goes that heart of mine -

2) Thumpy thumpy thumpy 'cos
Her shape it is so bumpy
It's so dimply and dumpy
Kinda loose and kinda lumpy
And it has no imperfections
And it points in all directions
How I love them pounds and ounces
In that sweater when it bounces
And it makes me kinda jumpy when our arms entwine
Thumpy thumpy thumpy goes that heart of mine.

3) She's a syncopated lady
And her second name is Sadie
And I love the way she dances
With just anyone she fancies
And I love the way she washes
And she wears them big galoshes
And the way her hands meander
When she's kissed on her veranda
She lives at number seven but she sleeps at number nine
Thumpy thumpy thumpy goes that heart of mine.
(Piano collapses completely)