BI-PARTY LINE

words: Michael Flanders
music: Donald Swann
from: Fresh Air (revue, late 1950's)

At the Random Division (South) Bye-Election, the Conservative Party candidate and the Labour Party candidate
Welcome you to this combined Party political meeting

The eyes of the world are upon you Will the last man shut the door
You -- my audience of seven         You -- my audience of four

You have studied our Party pamphlets, and so by the way have we
Now will one of you kindly tell us where we're meant to disagree
For it seems to us that before very long, to quote Mister Gilbert and quote him wrong:
Each little MP that's born alive, and his parliamentary neighbour,
Will be either Labour-Conservative or else Conservative-Labour

[Continue, with Donald Swann as the Conservative candidate and Michael Flanders as the Labour candidate]

Give us the chance to solve the burning questions of the hour FLANDERS: Vote Labour SWANN: Vote Conservative
We're for cutting National Service when the other lot's in power FLANDERS: Vote Labour SWANN: Vote Conservative
We're both for full employment, both accept the Welfare state
We've a single foreign policy, too little and too late
Now don't be apathetic, try to differentiate FLANDERS: I'm Labour SWANN: I'm Conservative

When we reach the House of Commons, when its bastions are stormed FLANDERS: Vote Labour SWANN: Vote Conservative
Then the catering department will be thoroughly reformed FLANDERS: By Labour SWANN: Or Conservative
We're for equal pay for women -- in another year or two
We're dead against inflation
[LOOKING AT EACH OTHER]
Why, good heavens, so are you
We used to beg to differ, now we're beggared if we do SWANN: He's Labour FLANDERS: He's Conservative

(to be concluded)