On a dark night in L.A., hot wind in my hair
Warm smell of police dogs rising up through the air
On the screen of my 'puter, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim; I thought it said "Mudcat: Next Right"

There they typed in the threadways
With names like "Lyrical Belle"
And I was thinking to myself, this could be heaven and this could be hell
Then they welcomed me nicely, and they showed me the way
There were messages in the threads, I thought I read them say:

Chorus:
Welcome to the Café Mudcat, for'gner
What a lovely place, such a lovely place
We're livin' it up at the Café Mudcat, For'gner
What a nice surprise, cybernetically-wise

They got a 'catter named Catspaw, and Matt R. and Wesley (aka Wes)
They got a lot of anonymous flamers they call guests
How they post in the threadyards, sweet as it gets
Some post to remember, some post to forget

So I posted a message: "Oasis is fine."
They said, "We haven't heard anyone but Matt mention them since 1999
And still those catters are posting from far away
I log on in the middle of the night, just to read them say:

(repeat chorus)

The last thing I remember, I was trying to log out
This thing was eating all my time, and I had to do something about
It. Relax said Max, we are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

---Don Felder, Glen Frey & Don Henley