The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #160244   Message #3800483
Posted By: Jim Dixon
15-Jul-16 - 07:51 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: You Can't Do That There 'Ere
Subject: Lyr Add: YOU CAN'T DO THAT THERE 'ERE
Here's my transcription from the recording that JTT linked to. YouTube says the singer is Sammy Gay; I believe George Formby also recorded it.


YOU CAN'T DO THAT THERE 'ERE
Words and music by Jack Rolls and Raymond Wallace, 1935.
As recorded by Sammy Gay

1. I'm going to sing a nonsense song; no doubt you'll think it weird.
The jokes are either very new or else have grown a beard.
The curate came on Saturday to our annual dinner,
But when he pulled his knitting out, we shouted: "Mister Skinner!

CHORUS: "Oh, you can't do that there 'ere!
No, you can't do that there 'ere!
Anywhere else you can do that there,
But you can't do that there 'ere!"

2. The shades of night were falling fast; the fire-bell gaily rang.
The engine dashed out with a whirr and pulled up with a bang.
The fire was out when they arrived, but in rushed fireman Cannon.
A female voice says: "Where's me clothes?" Says the fireman: "Where's your manners? CHORUS

3. A country(?) copper saw the loving couple on a seat.
As he passed by, he heard the lady give a little squeak.
The p'liceman shone his lantern on the couple in the dark, sir,
And said: "Now, what's a-going on in this 'ere public park, sir? CHORUS

4. Jimmy Longshot went to see Lord Tommy Tittlemouse.
Of course he was the honored guest and keen to shoot the grouse.
The fun was fast and furious when someone shouted: "Jimmy!
You've missed the grouse and gone and shot His Lordship in the spinney! CHORUS

5. A p'lice inspector passing by a nudist colony
Was peeping through the garden gate for curiosity.
He saw a lady walking by a-taking off her knickers.
"Did I lose my eyesight, miss? You mustn't be so reckless. CHORUS

6. Auntie Gertie's eighty-six and fit for anything.
She got engaged last Wednesday week to dear old Doctor King.
The other night the old man said: "I hope I don't intrude, dear.
Let's have a game of tiddlywinks;" said she: "Oh, don't be rude, dear! CHORUS

[There is a French version called ALLEZ DONC FAIRE ÇA PLUS LOIN, with words by Paul Misraki. This page has a thumbnail image of the sheet music cover and a 1:20 excerpt of a recording sung by Ray Ventura.]