The star men held a briefing, as the ship came into land
details of the planet, from the print-out in his hand
no record of intelligence or higher form of life
the screen shows only rubble, though bacteria are rife
the surface is unfriendly, the atmosphere is cooked
but somethings sending signals so we'd better take a look

They broke into the bunker, passed the warnings on the side
entry is restricted to the strictly certified
they found men with pens and men with pips
and women with child bearing hips
the source of all the signals was a typewriting machine
it issued bits of paper that they used instead of brains

The place had started buzzing, the atmosphere intense
the caveman said you're new here, can we sell you some defence
buy a meadow full of bombs a hillside full of germs
the star-man said but that's attack you must define your terms
the caveman said god help me some people won't be told
you've got to keep things in their place or else you lose control

Control of what the star-man, said just take a look outside
the caveman said don't give me that those tricks have all been tried
the cavemen started closing in, the star-man slammed the gate
metallic cries rang in their ears Administrate administrated
the star-man walled the bunker up, the mission was fulfilled
reporting back to base there is life here but intelligence is nil.

By Peter Bond (C)1978 ish