But where's all the verses I hear on the Matt McGinn YouTube, which I can't make out very well, being a Yank who doesn't speak Scots?

Something about his rivalry with his cousin over a girl, he scrubs off his feet & applies cologne, fools the girl, who chooses him instead of the cousin, they go out but she can't eat or smoke because she "smells that bugger yet". Chorus is something like "He was neat, he was sweet, but he'd helluva stinky feet, and they call us Skinny-ma-Linky Longlegs".

But nobody here ever heard but the verses quoted above?   ???