THE OLD FIDDLER
As recorded by Benny Hill

'Twas market day in the village,
    and the crowds round the stalls was quite dense,
Though what caught my eye was a stall piled high
    with the musical instruments.

And up to the stall came a little old man;
    his clothes was all tattered and thin,
But his face come alight as his eyeballs caught sight
    of a beautiful old violin.

He held it up to the dealer,
    sayin': "How much is this one then?"
He replied: "That's a Stradivarius, my man;
    that'll cost you four pound ten."

"I can't afford that," sighed the little old man,
    and a lump come into my throat.
I was feeling quite chuffed, and so I stuffed
    in his hand a ten-shilling note.

A crowd had gathered behind us,
    so I quickly went round with his hat.
When I finished, I found I'd collected five pounds,
    so I took my ten shilling back.

Well, we give the dealer the money,
    and the old man so shabbily dressed
Picked up the violin, stuck it under his chin,
    and he played like a man possessed.

He played cantatas and fugues
    and ... and ... too,
By composers like Johann Sebastian Bach,
    to mention only a few.

He played waltzes by Strauss, and Die Fliedermaus
    and Tales from the Vienna Wood,
Then Tchaikovsky's piano concerto,
    but he didn't play that quite so good.

"Well done," cried the crowd when he finished,
    and they gently patted his head,
But the excitement was too much for the little old man,
    who unfortunately fell down dead.

Well, we give the dealer his fiddle,
    and we took back our four pound ten,
Then we picked up the old man and we laid him to rest
    in the cemet'ry down by the glen,

But sometimes at night when the moon do shine bright,
    if I should happen to stray
Up over the hill, it seems that still
    I can hear the old man play.

Yes, the words of that popular song rings true,
    for though the old man is gone,
Yes, although the song is ended,
    the melody lingers on.