Olddude's presidential campaign has been thrown into turmoil by the revelations of dozens of fish accusing him of unwarranted touching during the catch-and-release process. According to one brown trout, "He stuck his thumb between my lips and held me up while his friend took a picture! It's taken me years to get up the courage to go public about this traumatic experience." Similar accusations of fish fondling have been lodged by fish from a wide variety of species, ranging from smallmouth bass to flathead catfish.

It's expected that Oddude will announce his intention to sue his fish accusers as soon as he officially loses the election.