Jeri, you inspire me.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MENOPAUSAL WOMAN

1. Walk in baggy pajamas to bathroom. 3. Feel neck and chin for course hairs, since eyes are now too weak to see them. 4. Face the doctor's scale bought at the thrift store in order to keep accurate count of weight gain/loss. 5. Drape towel over the scale. 6. Adjust water to hottest temp (if not currently having a hot flash). 7. Remind self to clean the tub and shower and wash shower curtain... someday. 8. Shampoo and condition with forumla for color treated hair. 9. Try not to slip and break any bones. Use grab bars installed for safety. 10. Shave under arms and think about leg shaving... someday. 11. Sing every song currently memorizing. Try not to slip and break any bones while rinsing off conditioner. 12. Use up the hot water getting arthritic neck and shoulder to relax. 13. Avoid looking in mirror until hair is blown dry. 14. Remind self to take vitamins. 15. Wrap self in warmest robe available (unless having a hot flash). Go get another cup of coffee and check email again.