LORENZO IL MAGNIFICO
(Robert Schmertz)

Oh, Lorenzo Il Magnifico, he was the Duke of Florence.
He dearly loved his hi-de-ho for ho-hum had abhorrence,
Abhorrence, abhorrence, for ho-hum had abhorrence.
And so to be specifico, he really was terrifico -
That hyperglandular so-and-so,
Lorenzo Il Magnifico!

Lorenzo Il Magnifico, Il Duce de Firenza
He loved to do the heel-and-toe to a dissolute cadenza,
Cadenza cadenza, a dissolute cadenza;
A cinque-cento samba to a viola da gamba,
To a dissolute lute and a piccolo
Danced ’Renzo Il Magnifico!

Lorenzo Il Magnifico was very fond of culture;
To men like Michaelangelo he was a culture vulture,
A vulture, a vulture, he was a culture vulture.
He strove with mighty relish-oh Firenza to embellish-oh
That fabulous impresario
Lorenzo Il Magnifico!

Lorenzo Il Magnificio was quite a politician;
The Palazzo del Consiglio looked on him with suspicion,
Suspicion, suspicion, looked on him with suspicion.
’Tis said he rented slot machines to both the Guelphs and Ghibellines,
That rackety Medici so-and-so
Lorenzo Il Magnificio!

Lorenzo trod so proudly the Piazza del Signori,
On Sundays passed the plate at Sant’ Maria del Fiore,
Fiore, Fiore, Maria del Fiore;
With unction sanctimonious, he really was felonious,
That hypocritical so-and-so
Lorenzo Il Magnifico!

Lorenzo Il Magnifico was on his death bed lying.
He cried, “Salvonarola, oh, I know that I am dying,
Am dying, am dying, I know that I am dying!”
The monk said, “Son, confessio!” Lorenzo said, “Oh, bless you no;
I’ll soon be running things down below!”
Said ’Renzo Il Magnifico!