And so it's begun. The die is cast. I have just ingested the three little pills. The instructions say that the first, ahhh, err, well, trip to see a friend off to the coast will take place in 1 to 6 hours. At five hours hence, I shall begin to drink 2 litres of a fruit flavoured mixture which I must consume within 1:10 hours. I am advised by the directions that the trips to the coast will subside in about two hours after that. Then, I shall arrive at Clinic E of the Moncton Hospital before 7:30AM. At 8AM, I will be pumped full of mind altering drugs and subsequently have a hose from an air compressor shoved in my ass and turned on at Category FUCK ME! Ensuing will be the insertion of a mechanically directionally manipulated cable with a camera and snipper on the end of it. The doctor, a mere pup in my estimation, will then proceed to navigate my alimentary canal in search of nasty things. As if all of this is not nasty enough already.

It's overdue. I had an innuendo exam near 9 years ago. The doc snipped polyps. No problems. Then, two years later, he declared my a five year man. Then, after he was 25 years in the OR, they pulled his licence to make room for new blood. New blood didn't get his files. I complained. I got a referral. It will be nearly nine years since someone b/flew up my ass and had a look. I should have married Maryse, a nurse. She's a uni prof emeritus now with a doctorate. She'd take of my ass. She... nevermind.BTW... the instructions said clear fluids all day today and said "ale". wELL, GINGER ALE BUT I PREFER REAL ALE. Oh dear. Capslock. My meds are kickin' in.

By tomorrow at this time, it will hopefully be all be just a fart in the wind.

Oh dear. The growling has begun. Those little pills are mighty.

I hope this shit doesn't offend anyone. >;-)