As Alice began plunking, strumming and frailing - along came an anonymous Guest and a Mock-poster. "Marvelous!" they cried. "Just the music we need for the Flamer's Quadrille!"

"The Flamer's Quadrille?" asked Alice. "Whatever could that be?"

"You may not have been in the forum much," said the Mock-poster. ("well not much" said Alice) So you may not realize what a delightful thing is the Flamer's Quadrille"

"I once burnt myself on a match," said Alice - but quickly realized that was not what the Mock-poster was refering to. "How does the flamer's Quadrille go?"

"It's so much fun it's incredible," burbles the Anonymous Guest. "First you troll a provacative post through the forum"

"Or two! Insulting thread titles are best" interjected the Mock-poster. "But first you must choose a name to post under"

"or no name at all," said the Anonymous Guest. "that makes it best of all."

"you respond once or twice to fan the flames" they chanted together. "then you watch the regulars trip over themselves trying to help with the request, argue about whether or not the original poster is real and defend each other when they aren't yelling at each other."

Alice plunked a few more notes out, and quietly said "It doesn't sound like fun to me."

"oh it is, it is," claimed Anonymous Guest. "Do tell her," it said to the Mock-Poster. "No, please, you tell her" replied the Mock-Poster.

Will you post a little nasty, said the flamer to the troll
Things are getting boring and I like to see things roll
See how eagerly the newbies and the guests they do respond
And the regulars are waiting to be pedantic and profound

Will you flame or won't you flame, will you won't you will you won't you
will you, won't you , will you , won't you, will you throw a flame?

What matters if the thread creeps, or goes off on a tangent
The trick is get the posters mad, and fan the anger tragic
The further off the subject, the greater is the game
Light a match, troll around, sit and enjoy the flame!

Will you flame or won't you flame, will you won't you will you won't you
will you, won't you , will you , won't you, will you throw a flame?

And as the Anonymous Guest and the Mock-Poster danced gleefully around and around, Alice concluded the best thing to be done would be to ignore them both at all times. She had found the Hesitant Newcomer and the Occasional Guest to be much more agreeable.