Interesting banter between yours truly and the Landlord of a pub hosting a song session. Said Landlord is 5ft high and a total gobshite and utterly miserable when Folk Musicians land in his pub.

Nick......A pint of water please.

Poison Dwarf......I'm not letting you sit in here drinking water.

Nick........ OK fair enough I'll put some money in the charity box, if you had let me finish I was going to say that.

Poison Dwarf........That doesn't put money in my till!

Nick.....Not a problem I'll pay for the water, how much?

Poison Dwarf....You can buy the water in bottles

Nick.......I prefer tap water

Poison Dwarf....You can buy the water in bottles I said.

Nick ...OK

Thinking that this charming episode is at a finish yours truly pays for a bottle of water.
The Poison Dwarf approaches me and continues this revealing conversation.

Poison Dwarf..... YOU (points as if he is indicating a child molester) YOU do concerts don't you?

Nick.... Yes

Poison Dwarf... Do you do them for nothing? (Puts a triumphant leer on a mishapen mouth)

Nick ..... (Making a concerted effort not to knock the little squirt into the middle of the following week) Yes I do as it happens.

Poison Dwarf   (Taken aback somewhat) Er Yes...er..Well we do a lot for charity as well.

Nick...F***ing sounds like it.

End of Conversation.........I haven't been back, can't think why!