That's the first time in my life I've ever bullied or intimidated anybody with wild flowers or Jurassic fossils, I must say. Just wait 'til I lay into you with a Victoria sponge, Keith. Lock up yer daughters!

I have a feeling that I drove on that Connemara road in 1977 when the missus and I spent a month trundling round the west of Ireland in our Morris Minor. Bloody roads -three punctures in four weeks! There's a little strand somewhere round there where bits of coral wash up. I filled a matchbox with some as a souvenir. Can't tell you the trouble that caused us back at the port. A half-hour grilling by the anti-terrorist lads who took a lot of persuading that it wasn't drugs or explosives or something. The buggers turned us upside down!

Took a little lump of tufa from Gordale Beck to show my chemistry teacher at school. He was a bit of a geology freak. He was delighted that he thought he was nurturing a future geological star. Alas, a year later he was threatening to chuck me out of 'O' level chemistry for homework failure-to-do. He even threw a piece of chalk at me once. Twat. I got a grade 2, by the way.

Dunno what I was saying that was opposite to your experiences, Jim. Complementary, more like, I should say, with similar sentiments. Not saying that discussion of this should be verboten. But I do get sorely pissed off with this pair of obsessives that have us going round in circles. Anyway, I've been studiously hijacking this for 24 hours now and have yet to receive even a small bollocking. Don't mind discussing issues with sensible, fair-minded people, of course. And that's going to get a fine response, I predict.