"Fuck me..."

Perhaps later, dear. Shall we share a vat of wine first? In your case, another vat?

And, for your information, even good pasta is cheap. This stuff was £1.40 a bag, half the bag enough for the two of us. That's pasta costing 35p per person. Not exactly fare to get pretentious about, eh? And the in-crowd all know that dried pasta is every bit as as good as anything you can make with a stupid home pasta machine, the piece of kit the most likely to become redundant the quickest.