Queen Victoria is being conducted around a military hospital on a morale-boosting execrcise during the Crimean War
She arrives at the first bed and asks, "what are you being treated for soldier?"
"Syphilis, ma-am", came the reply.
Unfazed, she asked, "and what treatment are you receiving?"
"The wire brush, ma-am" came the reply.
"and what's your ambition?" she asked.
"To get cured, get back to the war and do my bit for Queen and country, your majesty"
"Very commendable", she said, and moved on.
At the next stop - the same proceedure.
"What are you being treated for?"
"Piles ma-am"
"And what treatment are you receiving?"
"The wire brush ma-am"
"And what's your ambition?"
"To get cured, get back to the war and do my bit for Queen and country, your majesty"
"Very commendable"
Next bed
"What are you being treated for?"
"Pyorrhea of the gums ma-am"
"And what treatment are you receiving?"
"The wire brush ma-am"
"And what's your ambition?"
"To get ttreated before those other two dirty bastards ma-am", came the reply
Jim Carroll