THE WINDOW CLEANER (NO. 2)
As recorded by George Formby, 21-Mar-1937.

You've heard about my capers when windows I've to clean.
Now I'd like to tell you of a few more things I've seen.

I've seen Miss Thompson, in her flat,
Take off her shoes, her coat and hat.
I've seen her take off more than that
  When I'm cleanin' windows.
At a ladies' school I call,
And one girl flirts with me and all,
But I'm insured in case I fall
  When I'm cleanin' windows.
    All day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be.
    It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see.
To overcrowded flats I've been.
Sixteen in one bed I've seen,
With a lodger tucked up in between,
  When I'm cleanin' windows.

Old soldiers never die, they say.
Though I don't want to pass away,
I kick the bucket ev'ry day
  When I'm cleanin' windows.
Through workin' at such dizzy heights,
I dream about my job at nights.
I polish up my wife's thingummy-tights,
  And think I'm cleanin' windows.
    All day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be.
    It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see.
The newly-weds at number six,
Somehow the curtains they can't fix.
They play some lovely parlour tricks
  When I'm cleanin' windows.

Now lots of girls I've had to jilt,
All they admire the way I'm built,
It's a good job I don't wear a kilt
  When I'm cleanin' windows.
At the coronation I'll commence
To work where crowds are very dense.
I'll let my stand for eighteen pence
  Instead of cleanin' windows.
    And all day up this ladder I'm as busy as can be.
    It's not my fault I see a lot of things I shouldn't see.
At eight o'clock a girl she wakes.
At five past eight a bath she takes.
At ten past eight my ladder breaks,
  When I'm cleanin' windows.