I've never performed musically ("Thank God!" says my middle school music teacher), but as a teacher, I've tried to get feedback on my performance, and I think everything Mr. Red said was valuable, especially the helpfulness of "If you tried xx" comments.

So I think it would be helpful if you tried to think of questions that would elicit specific things to work on, rather than evaluations.

If you get someone to video your performance, you will probably spot a few things you can easily work on to make your next performance a better one. (In my experience, the videos mainly confirmed bluntly what I suspected, but was hoping would get by unnoticed. This was very valuable.)

After you've reviewed your work, you can probably figure out ways of asking questions that would help you without putting your observer on the spot. Rather than, "Was my patter interesting?" you could ask, "Do you think more patter would help the mood of my performance, or would it be better to cut down in order to speed up the rhythm?"

Maybe that's a lousy example, but that's part of my point: The performer has to prepare for a feedback session. Based on your honest self-evaluation, what are the specifics you need feedback on? To answer that, consider, "What is the specific purpose of this feedback?" "What actions do I anticipate taking on its basis?" I would suggest a narrow focus on parts you think you can improve by the next performance. Make it easy for your observer to suggest, "Maybe if you tried xx."

When I neglected these points, my feedback wasn't as helpful as when I dug into them.

But as you pointed out, there's nothing WRONG with getting encouraging and supportive feedback. You'll get it, whether or not you ask "Which songs did you enjoy and which not so much?" It will just be easier to provide.

Just as you try to see your perfomance from the audience point of view, try to actively consider your observer's position and make it easy to provide comments that will help you.Observe a performance; think about what you might say to help the performer make the next one better; then ask, "What questions would make it easy for me to give this performer helpful comments?" Then apply these insights to your own case.

And keep in mind that you have a sense of your performance that you want to stay true to, no matter what anyone says. Good luck!