Teetotalers can join the defense of Earth. Teas available range from Tieguanyin to Tetley's. Coffees range from Jamaica Blue Mountain to Folger's coffee bags to stuff left over the WWII C-rations to "Coffee Essence" from the US Civil War.

Alcoholic beverages (should anyone want such during off-duty hours, of course) include, but are not limited to, Old Granddad, Macallan 40 Year Old Sherry Cask Highland Single Malt Scotch, Bookers, Midleton Dair Ghaelach, and 2011 10 year old Loch Dhu. Your pick, and the distillers have donated their wares for the defense of Earth.

The recruiting office is open. We suggest enlistment, as a draft is next, and then the press gangs go to work.