Mine works out as "Keith Helmsley-Stendall".

This reminds me of a similar post to this site some years ago, when we were asked what our name would be if we were blues singers. The criteria were 1) a disability / affliction, 2) a fruit, 3) a US president. Blind Lemon Jefferson was not acceptable, as he was a real person. The winner on that occasion was "Double Amputee Kumquat Madison". Perhaps a suitable latter day one might be Impotence Raspberry Trump.