"and much of the wheat and barley we grow is so piss-poor that it's fit only to be fed to animals, the poor sods."
WRONG AGAIN!

Wheat is the most widely grown arable crop in the UK. On average, it covers around two million hectares of land and produces about 15 million tonnes each year. Wheat is a versatile crop and is used mainly for milling into flour for bread and starch - about 40% of annual production - and as an animal feed ingredient - around 50% - with most of the rest being exported. It is found in numerous food products, including bread, cakes, biscuits and breakfast cereals. (Barley prairies???)
Barley is grown on around one million hectares and produces an output of around five million tonnes. About 1.7 million tonnes are used in the production of malt - a key ingredient in beer and whisky. The remaining barley is mostly used in animal feeds or exported.

The majority of cereals are sown in the autumn, known as 'winter cereals' as the young plants have to survive the winter in the open fields. These cereals are usually higher yielding because of the longer growing period. The remaining cereals are sown in the spring.