Oh, NOBLY said, Booquemanne! NOBLY said!

The remarka by Mark Twain were called " Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism". Old Sam delivered them in 1879, to an outfit called The Stomach Club, a society of American ne'er-do-wells and writers -- oh, but I repeat myself -- in Paris.

Among other profound insights on the subject, Sam remarked:

Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine
enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in
his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the
forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a
benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they
still have this majestic diversion." In another place this
experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it
to sodomy."

This is linguistic richesse worthy or Rapparree, worthy of the great BeeDub, worthy of--dare I say it?-- our Mom her very self! Oh, if Sam lived today, he'd surely be a hero of the MOAB, a BS firebrand of the first order!