THE DINGLE PUCK GOAT
I am a young jobber who was foolish and airy,
The green hills of Kerry I came for to see;
I went back to Dingle to buy up some cattle -
I hope you will listen to what happened to me.
I entered the Fair on a Saturday morning,
And the first thing I saw(?) was a long legged goat.
Bedad then, says I, I'm now to commence dealing;
I think, my old hero, you're worth a pound note.
I made my appearance to the dealer who held him,
And a bargain I made without any delay,
He said, "As you pay me down twenty one shillings
An advice I will give you before I go away;
This darling old hero was raised in the mountains
In the year '64 he learned some drill,
And some of his comrades I'm told are transported,
And now he's determined some blood for to spill."
The old man departed and I went for starting,
The words that he told me put me in despair,
The first jump he gave he pulled my right arm,
I got on his back and got hold of his hair,
Says I, my old ranger on your back I am landed,
Unless that I fall you may go where you will,
He ran through the streets like someone distracted
And soon made his way towards Connor Hill.
When he came into Bandon I thought it was London.
I regretted my journey when I saw the sea;
He jumped in thee(?) and swam right across it,
Towards Castlegregory, to take the near way.
The waves of the ocean put me in emotion:
The fishes they ate all the nails from my toes,
A bally big mackerel jumped up on my nostril
And thought to get away with the bridge of my nose.
When he came on the strand he hastily ran on to Clounnagal,
Then on to Castlemaine did he steer;
To Miltown, Killorglin and into Killarney -
He never cried crack till he came to Kenmare!
It was then that he spoke! Saying "We've passed our Headquarters,
There my old ancestors always have been
Let's come back again, and we'll take up our lodgings
With the colleen-na-Gour where there's plenty of poteen.
When I heard the goat speaking, my heart commenced beating,
Says I, "Tis a spirit called Petticoat Loose
Or something or other that has come into Kerry,
And I thought to myself, I am done wearing shoes!
We now has returned to stop there till morning
But during the night I got up on his back
And as day was dawning he jumped from his corner,
And to Castleisland he went in a crack.
In the town of Tralee he cooly meanders -
I believe he was anxious to see some more sport,
Just outside the town he some Highlanders!
With his horns he tore up their bally old cloaks!
The Highlanders bawled and roared melee murder,
Calling the Peelers to him to jail,
But the more that they shouted the faster he ran,
And over the Basin he gave them the leg bail!