OK I can't take it anymore.If the bird was harvested through the technique known as bushwhacking, what you need is simply an action plan. (I am assuming the gun question is already obvious.) Here is one action plan that may work.
Go outside (take the circle driveway). Set up the grill in the Jello Pit you have been building out back to remind you of Mudcat. Kick all the new members out. They don't know what they're messing with yet.
Among your neighbors (international), find a broad. Have her wrap the pheasant in a sheepskin. Place the sheepskin-wrapped pheasant in an enamel bathtub. Let the company in (invited through clickies you have cleverly placed in threads) and ask them to commence flaming. If the Dalai Lama shows up, perhaps he can apply the attractive grilling stripes that make a dish look as good as it is supposed to taste.
Serve hot, with gobshite sauce on the side. Before you dig in, be sure to say grace-- which, if you are effective, will result in Jesus Himself drop-kicking the servings onto your guests' plates, right through the sunday goalposts.
That's just one plan though. What would you do differently?
~Betty Crock Of