FLUSH THE MAGIC TOILET Ian Mills

Flush was a magic toilet the finest in the land
With golden bells and cherubs all around his ornate pan
His pipes were made of silver his cistern was the same
And down came crystal waters when you pulled that golden chain

Flush the magic toilet lived by the sea
And flourished in the autumn mist in a land called Peterlee
Flush the magic toilet flowed into the sea
Polluting all the beeches for the folk like you and me

Little Suzie Snodgrass used Flush every day
She'd sit on him for hours just to pass the time away
She'd talk to him of wondrous things and marvelled at his wit
And she'd bring him tins of Harpic every time she had a sit

Little Suzie Snodgrass adored that magic loo
And Flush loved little Suzie with a passion deep and true
He'd sit there in his little hut and wait for her to come
And how his pipes would tremble at the touch of Suzie's bum

Flush lived in this little hut outside Suzie's door
And cold November's icy winds they made poor Suzie sore
With chilblains on her backside and frostbite in her hands
She got herself an indoor loo with a centrally heated pan

Flush was so broken hearted when he found he'd lost his friend
Took an overdose of Harpic and went clean round the bend
And then one chilly Winters night Flush it's sad to say
Climbed into his own sewerage pipe and flushed himself away

Cheers Bill