I've heard this parody credited to a number of different sources, but I got it from some guys in a Sydney band I was filling in with back in the 1980s. A trifle dated and in dubious taste, but make of it what you will. Should the authors wish to acknowledge their sin, or be offended by its publication here, please let admin know. I shall not name them.

The story they told me was that it was written after a gig where an audience member got stuck up them about the "harpoon" thing. After smacking him around a bit, they decided that, in retrospect, he had a point, so after scraping him up off the floor, bought him a beer and some sticking plasters, and agreed to change the offending word to "didgeridoo" for future gigs. While they were at it, they thought that they might Australianise the entire song too.

Enjoy, ignore or report/delete. Your call....


ME AND CHERYL McGRAW

Busted flat in Wollongong, waiting for the bus
Feeling crap, and vomit on my jeans
Cheryl flagged a Holden down, riddled full of rust
Took us all the way to Narrabeen
I pulled my didgeridoo out of my Eastern Suburbs t-shirt
Was blowing hard while Cheryl combed her hair
With the windscreen wipers slapping time, I got hung up on the thirteenth line
Of the seventeenth verse of Advance Ausrtralia Fair

Freedom's just another word for being unemployed
The dole it ain't worth nothing, but it's free
Feeling good was easy, Lord, with a stubby in my paw
Feeling good was good enough for sure
As long as I was feeling Cheryl McGraw

From the coal mines of Mt Kembla, to the Sydney Harbour Bridge
Cheryl shared my chicko roll and prawns
Standing right beside me, Lord, sometimes on my foot
Playing Holy Jesus with my corns
But somewhere down near Blues Point Road I let her slip away
With a long haired yuppee poofter from Balmain
And I'd swap my stack of roaches and my Kylie autograph
For another night with Cheryl's sister Jane


(There you go. Not a harpoon (or whale) in sight....)