Ah, that's great, Mike. And this lovely bit of Madeira banter is definitely on-topic as Madeira, being Portugal, is very much a part of the EU. I wonder what they'll think of us Brits once we leave. We won't be quite so special any more. We'll be more like all those yanks who arrive in massive cruise ships and fill the little Funchal streets with their noise (and their dollars, I suppose). We saw the espada in that fabulously-smelly fish market too. The fish restaurant in Camara was owned by a chap who also owned a meat restaurant. We much preferred the former. We had garoupa the first night and bream the next time we went. It was a brilliant restaurant. Five stars when I get round to Trip Advisor!

We went to Blandy's for a tour and a Madeira tasting. The five-year-old Bual was on special offer so we bought six bottles, delivered for free to the post-security departure area. Jaysus, we struggled to lug that lot around!